FROZEN SHOE LACES
IDENTIFY ARCHITECTURE BENEATH MY FEET.
IM WEARING A JACKET THAT I STOLE FROM A PARK BENCH ALTHOUGH
IM NOT CERTAIN THAT IT CAN ACCURATELY BE CALLED “STEALING” BECAUSE THE JACKET WAS LEFT UN ATTENDED FOR AT LEAST THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TOOK ME TO RIDE MY BIKE ALL ALONG THE TRAIL AND BACK.
IM NOT SO GOOD IN IDENTIFYING LENGTHS
BUT THEY WERE GREAT. AND, I RODE FOR A LONG TIME TRYING TO SEE IF THE JACKET’S OWNER CAME BACK.
I AM VERY SICK OF MORAL GYMNASTICS.
I HAVE BEEN ON THE UNEVEN BARS FOR QUITE A LONG TIME.
AT LEAST MONTHS, INTENSELY…
“AM I LYING TO THE GOVERNMENT?”
“IS IT OK TO LIE TO THE GOVERNMENT?”
“AM I STEALING THIS JACKET?
“IS IT OK TO STEAL THIS JACKET BECAUSE ITS OWNER IS NOT AROUND AND I DO NOT KNOW IF ITS OWNER WILL EVER SHOW UP?”
“MAYBE THIS JACKET WILL SIT ON THIS BENCH FOR A LONG STRETCH OF TIME. LONG LIKE THE LENGTHS I RODE IN WAITING FOR ITS OWNER TO COME BACK”
“MAYBE THIS JACKET WILL GET RAINED ON AND BE PICKED UP BY SOME OTHER RANDOM STRANGER”
“IS IT OK FOR ME TO TAKE THIS JACKET?”
“WILL I BE CAUSING SOMEONE ELSE PAIN?”
I DON’T WANT TO CAUSE SOMEONE ELSE PAIN.
I HAVE A VISION OF A TEEN AGED CHILD COMING HOME AND REALIZING THAT THE JACKET IS MISSING. IT IS A NIKE JACKET. IT IS BLACK AND IT HAS A HOOD AND A ZIPPER RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.
THEN I SEE A BLONDE MOTHER STARING, AND SAYING, “THAT JACKET WAS OLD ANYWAYS; IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW ONE.”
THIS VISION HOWEVER DOES NOT COMFORT ME BECAUSE I CANNOT BE CERTAIN THAT IT IS BASED IN ANY SHEME OF REALITY.
THE JACKET HAS MINOR BLEACH STAINS ALL OVER IT. THIS ADDS TO MY PROJECTED NARRATIVE; THAT ITS OWNER WAS DUE IN FOR A NEW JACKET.
THESE SORTS OF MORAL GYMNASTICS SPIN ME A ROUND SOME TIMES.
I WANT TO PLAY NICE.
BUT AM I TRYING HARD ENOUGH?
AM I DOING HARD ENOUGH?
MY HEART, IN ITS DEEPEST OF DEPTHS, AND EVEN IN ITS MORE SHALLOW DEPTHS, KNOWS THAT WE MEAN WELL.
MEAN WELL
WELL MEANS, ARE MY LOVING HEART TINTED IN.
THERE ARE TWO BUNCHES OF BANANAS ON TOP OF THE TABLE THAT I CALL MY DESK.
THEY ARE SORT OF INTIMIDATING, BECAUSE THEIR LEVEL OF RIPE NESS IS QUITE HIGH AND IM NOT SURE THAT I CAN EAT ALL OF THOSE BANANAS IN THE NECESSARY TIME FRAME FOR BANANAS TASTING GOOD.
I KNOW THAT I CAN FREEZE THEM, BUT, MUCH LIKE MY SHOELACES, THEY ARE COLORED YELLOW.
I DONT ACTUALLY HAVE YELLOW SHOE LACES; I JUST THOUGHT THAT WOULD FIT NICELY IN WITH POETIC SCHEMA.